Sossoman celebrates 75 Years under new Kirksey Family leadership

In the early months of 1949, a young man named J.C. Sossoman came to Morganton and set up a temporary residence at the Caldwell Hotel, located where the Marquee Cinema now stands.

J.C, 29, was testing the waters to see if Morganton might be capable of supporting another funeral home — competition for Kirksey Funeral Home which had been founded in the early years of the 1900s.

A native of southern Cabarrus County, J.C. was a decorated World War II combat veteran who had been working at Wells Funeral Home in Canton in the hopes that he could one day buy the business.

When that opportunity fell through, a minister suggested to J.C. that he turn his sights to Burke County. It was, according to his son, Calvin, J.C.’s ambition to own and manage his own funeral home.

“My dad was a better salesman than P.T. Barnum,” Calvin recalled. “And he basically sold himself to this community. He must have done a good job because 75 years later Sossoman Funeral Home is still going strong.”

Sossoman Funeral Home, which opened on Mother’s Day in 1949, when Calvin was just a couple of months old, is now celebrating its 75th anniversary.

But the irony is that the funeral home is now owned by Jimmy Kirksey, his wife, Dotty, and their daughter, Hannah Kirksey Lipford, and that Jimmy is the son of Robert Kirksey and the nephew of Herman Kirksey, who used to own Kirksey Funeral Home.

As Hannah assumes a leadership role at the funeral home — she is a funeral director and vice president — she represents the fifth generation of her family to be in the funeral home business.

Sossoman’s Early Years

J.C. Sossoman established Sossoman Funeral Home in a large, two-story white house that stood on College Street in downtown Morganton at the site of the current Morganton Department of Public Safety.

Just down the street was Morganton High School, from which Calvin would graduate in the spring of 1966, and on the opposite side of the street from the school stood Grace Hospital and its adjoining nursing dormitory.

Grace Episcopal Church, which had founded Grace Hospital, fronted King Street, and the stores and shops of Morganton were just a short walk away.

The Sossoman family lived in the upstairs of the house, while the funeral home business was conducted on the lower floor.

“My dad was always focused on family,” Calvin recalled. “And he wanted everyone who came through the door to be treated like family, to be treated with kindness and respect.

“Dad always had a great ability to empathize with people,” Calvin continued. “He had a beautiful voice, a soothing voice, and a great sense of humor. He was always in demand to serve as the master of ceremonies at local events.”

The newly founded funeral home prospered under J.C.’s leadership.

In those years, the name “Kirksey” was synonymous with the Democratic Party in Burke County and Kirksey Funeral Home was often called the Democratic funeral home while Sossoman’s was labeled the Republican funeral home.

J.C. was never overtly political, Calvin explained, but what many people did not know was that he was also not a Republican.

Calvin began working in the funeral home at the tender age of 4. His first chore — emptying and cleaning the ashtrays which were often full to overflowing. He later moved up to vacuuming and then to washing and detailing the funeral home vehicles.

At age 14, moved up to begin working in another capacity — ambulance duty.

Yes, as incongruous as it may seem today, until the early 1970s in Burke County, the ambulances, which were dispatched to car wrecks, crime scenes, and house fires, were owned not by the government but by the local funeral homes.

That part of the business, Calvin remembered, was not only very stressful but also placed a drain on the funeral home’s finances. When he went off to High Point College in the fall of 1966, he had no interest in joining his father in the profession, mainly because of the ambulance duties involved.

When J.C. decided to terminate ambulance service while Calvin was in college, the son decided he would, in fact, follow his father into the business.

The Kirksey Story

Lonnie Herman Kirksey III — better known as “L.H.” — was born in 1949, the same year that J.C. Sossoman came to Morganton, the same year that his friend Calvin Sossoman was born.

Kirksey and Company had been founded in 1905 by William Lee Kirksey and its primary business was selling hardware. Later, a Jewish salesman named Lonnie Herman convinced the Kirkseys to begin selling the handles and braces used on caskets.

“That was our beginning in the funeral business,” L.H. said, laughing.

There was little call for funeral homes as such in the early part of the 20th century, L.H. noted, “because people died at home and were kept at home and buried very quickly.”

Later, Kirksey and Company moved to a location on Union Street and began selling caskets. The opening of the company’s first funeral home came soon after.

Like Calvin and J.C., L.H. followed his father, Herman Kirksey, into the funeral business.

Before that happened, however, the two boys grew up together, in the same grade, attending the same schools, often visiting in each other’s homes.

No question, however, the two families were business rivals.

“The competition with Sossoman’s kept us on our toes,” L.H. recalls. “Kirksey’s was the Democratic funeral home, Sossoman was the Republican funeral home.”

That balance shifted substantially in 1991, however, when Herman and Robert Kirksey decided to sell the funeral home to a national corporation.

What had been a family business for decades was a family business no more.

A vision of continuity

When Calvin Sossoman returned to Morganton in 1973 and joined the family business, it served roughly 120 families a year.

The funeral home had moved from the old house on College Street to a new facility on Sterling Street across from the Broughton Hospital campus in 1966.

“My father was asked time and time again, ‘J.C., why did you move so far out of town?’” Calvin recalled.

By the late 1980s, Sossoman was serving about 150 families a year. When Kirksey changed hands, however, “That number just exploded,” Calvin said. “By the late 1990s, we were serving 350 or more families a year. We had to do two major remodelings just to keep pace.”

Burke County families, Calvin said, preferred to deal with a family-owned, family-managed, family-oriented funeral home.

And Jimmy Kirksey decided in 2004 that he would prefer to work with just such a business. In 2004, he and Rick Hood joined Calvin as partners at Sossoman Funeral Home.

A decade later, both Sossoman and Hood decided to retire, and the funeral home passed fully into the hands of the Kirksey family.

Yes, the Kirkseys now owned Sossoman Funeral Home.

A Chat with the Kirkseys

Hannah readily confesses that she feels nervous about being interviewed, but she rapidly warms to the subject as she talks about her love for the business, her respect and admiration for her parents, and her pride in continuing as the fifth generation in the funeral trade.

“When you walk through that door, we don’t want you to feel like you’re walking into a business. We want you to feel like you’re walking into a friend’s home,” she said.

“We try to make our process one that will accommodate everyone,” she continued. “We are very oriented toward families. We are very family-centric.”

Hannah says her dad is the best teacher she could have had for how to conduct herself and how to deal with people.

“I basically grew up here,” she said. “I watched what my father did and how he did it. He also grew up in the business. I learned from him how to be compassionate and respectful and to treat people the way they ought to be treated.”

As a Burke County native who grew up in the community and who has a broad swath of family and friends in the area, Hannah says she often has to serve people she already has a relationship with.

“Those are the times when you have to put your own emotions to the side,” she said. “If you’re upset and crying, you’re not going to be able to help the people who need you. We have to walk a fine line between empathy and professionalism.”

As a family-owned business, the Kirkseys make a special effort, she said, to set a high standard of ethics and cooperation in the community.

“We work with insurance companies. We work with banks. We work with law enforcement. And,” she added, “of course we work with local churches. It is so important to us that we build and nurture those strong relationships.”

Jimmy and Dotty had not been present while Hannah was being interviewed, but when they arrive, they echo many of her sentiments.

“We’re all about helping families,” Jimmy said. “We will bend over backwards to help fulfill a family’s wishes. And we’re so very proud that Hannah is in the business. We’re very blessed to have an heir. And we’re very blessed to have the staff that we do.

Looking at her daughter, Dotty says simply, “She and Jimmy are two of a kind. We’re simply thrilled that Hannah has taken on this role.”

Final words

L.H. has been out of the funeral home business since his family sold decades ago, but he remembers what he told Calvin when Jimmy decided to join forces with him.

“I said, ‘Calvin, I’ve tried to teach him all that I know. Now, it’s your turn.’”

Calvin, who retired a decade ago and who absolutely loves the life he is living, said it pleases him that Sossoman Funeral Home will remain family-owned and family-oriented.

“When Jimmy said he wanted to join a family firm, I was overjoyed,” he remembered. “Family, family, family, family. That’s what it’s all about. And I’m so glad that with Hannah, that tradition will continue and move forward.”

Bill Poteat, whose father’s funeral arrangements were superbly handled by Kirksey Funeral Home and whose mother’s were superbly handled by Sossoman’s, is editor emeritus of The Paper. He may be reached at 828-445-8595 or via email at bill@thepaper.media.