Explore a humorous take on why running for president isn't on the cards for our columnist, sparked by President Joe Biden's unforgettable mix-up during a recent press conference. This piece dives into the realms of political humor, memory mishaps, and the complexities of immigration policy, all wrapped up with a personal vow never to venture into presidential waters.

A giant, flashing sign beside the interstate blinked an insistent warning: “Caution: Wind Advisory in effect today.” As it is wont to do this time of year, winter – perhaps sensing the end is …

It was morning rush hour recently and I was barreling south on Hwy 181/Green Street towards Morganton to get to the office after a 7:55 interview on The Big Dawg, Burke County’s oldest, continually …

The house where my bride and I reside, just a stone’s throw from the Drexel Town Hall, is starting to show its age. That’s natural. The house is virtually the same age as I am. Construction on …

And so The Paper begins Year Two. Wow! What a journey it has been. Some highlights of the first year from the editor’s perspective. Friday, Oct. 21, 2022: Allen VanNoppen offers The Paper’s …

I am a window seat guy. When traveling on airplanes I prefer the window seat. You have a great view with a little private area all to yourself. You’re not fighting over both armrests. And you have …

On the planet Saturn, the month of January lasts approximately 896.7 Earth days — give or take a day or two. For that, the Saturnians can be most grateful, for here in Burke County the month of …

The Irmo Okra Strut had been an annual event for eight years by the time September 1982 rolled around. The accompanying parade on Saturday morning stretched all along St. Andrews Road, the main drag …

For those interested, we are in the midst of the NFL playoffs and championship games. Except for the Only-On-Peacock fiasco, the games have been good viewing. I got a close-up glimpse of the …

The Rev. Martin Luther King was cut down by a single shot from a high-powered rifle on the evening of Thursday, April 4, 1968 – just a few months short of 56 years ago. I was not quite 13 years old …

My wife, bless her heart, is a glass-half-full kind of gal. Sandra is able to see the positive side of nearly every worrisome situation. Car breaks down? No worries — it needed a tuneup anyway. …

The bright lights, the gifts, and the gaiety of Christmas now drop away in the rear-view mirror. Also in the past are the lassitude that marks the week between Christmas and New Year’s and the …

It’s January, and my Facebook feed is filled with lists my friends are assembling of “12 Books I Want to Read This Year.”  Maybe it’s because, as a journalist, I work with words all day, …

They, those wise scoundrels, say that the best, most generous gift you can give is your time. Maybe. But I think that if the winner of the $842 million Powerball took the time to endorse his ticket …

No New Year’s resolutions for this old man as 2024 begins. Such resolutions are the stuff of folly, for no matter how well-intentioned the person making the sacred vows to eat better, exercise …

My mother has friends in southern Florida and for decades she has driven herself down there from Morganton for extended stays. 

Last Tuesday was an undeniably ugly day. It was Dec. 26, the day after Christmas, with all the post-holiday depression that entails. On top of that, a deluge of cold rain was pouring mercilessly from …

The December sun hung low in the south, a shining globe in a crystalline blue sky, painting a false image of warmth in one of my favorite places to combine exercise and introspection – Catawba …

Used to be that when you had a problem requiring home repairs, something you, the almighty handyman, the graduate of WPCC’s Small Engine Repair class, couldn’t fix, you called pros: A plumber, or …

Hank Aaron is the greatest baseball player of all time. He was a prolific hitter of home runs and yet subtract those 755 dingers from his stats and he still recorded more than 3,000 base hits. Aaron …

Sunday morning at the foot of the Blue Ridge, the distant December sun rose to illuminate a leaden, slate-gray sky, providing no more than the merest suggestion of warmth to the frost-encrusted …

If I bump into you on the street, or in a store, or in the office, or even in my house, and I give you a wide-eyed, what-the look, or I call you Captain, or Champ, or Brother, or Lady, or Gurl, or …

Today, my good friends, I am starting this logbook detailing my exploration into the keen (if not absurd) practice of fasting as a get-healthy-quick  mechanism. Fasting is a deal. Relatives and …

A taste of heaven. Joy, pure joy on every uplifted face. ONE. We were one fellowship. One in the body of Christ. The way it is supposed to be.  Sharing my faith is not something I am very …

Although none of my slugabed co-workers would know it, the sidewalk directly in front of The Paper’s office on S. Sterling Street in downtown Morganton is pretty much the perfect spot to watch the …